Amazing Funny Quotes

• Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire...
• I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
• Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
• Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart.
• If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
• All men are born free and equal. If they get married, that’s their own fault.